Kellie Renfroe
Oasis
Driving into the mall parking lot I
quickly noticed the impatient driver behind me. As soon as the opportunity
presented itself, the gal floored it and sped to snag a parking spot. Time was
apparently of the essence for this lady.
As my son and I started walking
to the door, Ms. Speedy Mom was giving her daughter an ear full. The young girl
of about 12 looked unfazed--walking at least 8 feet behind her mom.
What
I could not help but notice was once Mom entered the department store she was
gone. I would have had to run to keep up with Ms. Speedy Mom. The daughter never
sped up, nor did she slow down. It was apparent she was used to this lifestyle
of rush, rush, rush. The last I saw of mom and
daughter they were headed down the escalator with Mom fully focused ahead and
daughter keeping her distance.
In essence of full disclosure I must admit
I'm guilty of overusing the words hurry up. The visual of mom and
daughter hit home today. In the rush, Ms. Speedy never looked back to
see where her daughter was located--remember I was watching. What I could not
help but think was how easy it would be for this daughter to completely walk
away or for someone to distract and lead her astray--all while Ms. Speedy Mom
blazed ahead.
How often in the speed of life do we go full force
ahead assuming all is well? How many of us have turned around just a second too
late to realize things are not as we thought? A child who is struggling with
fear, insecurity, or maybe even being deceived by the world could be following
behind us obediently. All along we thought we were leading and they were
following. The hard truth is the enemy was watching--and pounced.
As Moms
lets not forget the little ones who may not be able to keep up. Let's face it,
most if us know the pace we've set is much too fast even for
ourselves.
Why do we think children can keep up and not be
affected?
While the daughter followed obediently today, when she reached
the escalator she kept her distance from her mother-- a full four to five steps
back. How sad. Mom ran off and left her and when it was within her power to
catch up, the daughter chose not to--and Mom did not seem to notice or
care.
Most of us can recite Deuteronomy 11:19 by heart.
We've written it in our family scrapbooks, it's underlined in our Bible, and we
refer to it often when admonishing younger moms to teach and train their
children in the ways of the Lord.
Yet, how often have we slowed
down to read the pace at which the verse is written? There is no
teach your children as you race to church or a don't forget to have
a quick chat before they go to bed. Nope, the pace is much
slower.
The scripture uses the words
talk, sit at home, walk, and
lie down.
How often is just sitting at home a challenge
these days?
I've purposefully left the scripture out because as busy moms
we often speed read scriptures we've read a hundred times and in the
process miss the impact.
Today indulge me for just five minutes.
Get
your Bible and sit down.
Turn to Deuteronomy 11:19 and read it at the pace it
was written.
Soak in the words talk, sit at home,
walk, and lie down.
Lord, help us as moms
to lead our children--not run ahead of them. Forgive us Lord when the cares of
this life have taken top priority. Let us have no greater joy than to hear that
our children are walking in the truth (3 John 1:4). Help us as busy moms to slow
down and walk with our children--teaching and training them in Your ways. Give
us Your wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. Keep us from distraction and
busyness. Help us to be careful and watch ourselves so that we do not forget the
things our eyes have seen or let them slip from our heart so that we can teach
our children and our children's children (Deuteronomy 4:9). Lead, guide, and
direct us in Your ways Lord. And, Lord touch Ms. Speedy Mom and her
daughter--You know their needs. Move in their lives in a magnificent and
dramatic way this week. If they do not know you as Lord and Savior, convict them
of their sin and lead them to Your saving knowledge. And Lord, help me to slow
down. In Jesus name we pray, amen.
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The Ageless Pop Star and the Old Apostle
I've always believed that influence should be a gift of the spirit. It belongs up there with prophecy, healing, interpretation...you name it! Have you ever considered how people of influence affect your actions and your way of thinking?
Recently, the world has witnessed the passing of a number of great celebrities but one of them has gained more attention than the others. I'm sure you've all heard by now of the tragic passing of Michael Jackson. I can remember as a teenager in the 80's, how I was captivated by the musical genius of MJ and hoped to someday meet him. I thought he was brilliant and ageless!
As the years went by, I would follow up on his life and career, buying his CD's and even learning a few of his dance moves. As his fame was peaking so were his internal struggles and I began to see him as a very real person; a troubled soul who desperately needed an encounter with a loving God. Yet through all the scandals, accusations, surgeries, etc. Michael remained a person of great influence in young people's lives all over the world. What was it about him that attracted the masses to wear a shinny white glove or a red leather jacket? Why is it that even today, thousands of people all over the world are trying to master the Moonwalk?
It's all about influence. Like I said influence is a God given gift. How we use it, makes all the difference in the world. The sad truth about MJ is that he was gifted with great influence but he misused it. Rather than giving God the glory for his success and lifting Him up so that others could be drawn to Him, Michael lifted himself up and drew millions of devoted fans to himself.
Many years ago my husband was working as a youth pastor at a church and one of our leading young men somehow got involved with drugs. It was so sad to watch him go from being this amazing power house of Godly talent to a defiant and rebellious negative force within the group. This young man was a born leader who had influence oozing out of him, but soon that influence turned negative. He began to seduce others to turn against the leadership and go his way. It was a sad experience for us because this young man has so much talent and no matter how hard we tried to help him he just wouldn't listen to any advice.
To this day, when I see that young man, I see the potential of what could have been. A wasted gift of influence that could have drawn many to Christ, used instead to turn others off to the gospel and away from their own potentials. That specific experience came back to my mind when I heard of Michael Jackson's passing. We cannot deny the magnificent contributions Michael made to the world of popular music and to the many charities he was affiliated with. He was also able to bring awareness to racial issues and tried vigorously to unite the races. However, where it mattered most, his influence felt short.
Paul was a man of great influence as well. He began his influential career fighting the same Christ he would later embrace and give his life for. But Paul turned his negative passion into positive passion, serving God relentlessly and reaching as many as he could with the gospel of God who could offer each individual salvation, hope and eternal life. Paul once stated in the book of Galatians 2:20 (NIV),
Recently, the world has witnessed the passing of a number of great celebrities but one of them has gained more attention than the others. I'm sure you've all heard by now of the tragic passing of Michael Jackson. I can remember as a teenager in the 80's, how I was captivated by the musical genius of MJ and hoped to someday meet him. I thought he was brilliant and ageless!
As the years went by, I would follow up on his life and career, buying his CD's and even learning a few of his dance moves. As his fame was peaking so were his internal struggles and I began to see him as a very real person; a troubled soul who desperately needed an encounter with a loving God. Yet through all the scandals, accusations, surgeries, etc. Michael remained a person of great influence in young people's lives all over the world. What was it about him that attracted the masses to wear a shinny white glove or a red leather jacket? Why is it that even today, thousands of people all over the world are trying to master the Moonwalk?
It's all about influence. Like I said influence is a God given gift. How we use it, makes all the difference in the world. The sad truth about MJ is that he was gifted with great influence but he misused it. Rather than giving God the glory for his success and lifting Him up so that others could be drawn to Him, Michael lifted himself up and drew millions of devoted fans to himself.
Many years ago my husband was working as a youth pastor at a church and one of our leading young men somehow got involved with drugs. It was so sad to watch him go from being this amazing power house of Godly talent to a defiant and rebellious negative force within the group. This young man was a born leader who had influence oozing out of him, but soon that influence turned negative. He began to seduce others to turn against the leadership and go his way. It was a sad experience for us because this young man has so much talent and no matter how hard we tried to help him he just wouldn't listen to any advice.
To this day, when I see that young man, I see the potential of what could have been. A wasted gift of influence that could have drawn many to Christ, used instead to turn others off to the gospel and away from their own potentials. That specific experience came back to my mind when I heard of Michael Jackson's passing. We cannot deny the magnificent contributions Michael made to the world of popular music and to the many charities he was affiliated with. He was also able to bring awareness to racial issues and tried vigorously to unite the races. However, where it mattered most, his influence felt short.
Paul was a man of great influence as well. He began his influential career fighting the same Christ he would later embrace and give his life for. But Paul turned his negative passion into positive passion, serving God relentlessly and reaching as many as he could with the gospel of God who could offer each individual salvation, hope and eternal life. Paul once stated in the book of Galatians 2:20 (NIV),
<:od>
"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the
Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
If we, as women of God can take that verse and make it our own, we will live positively fulfilled and influential lives that are contagious to the world around us. Would you want to be remembered as a trend setter? a popular icon? a controversial figure? or as someone who understands her purpose in life? Perhaps you exhibit he same passion the Apostle Paul had when he wrote, "for me to live is Christ and to die is gain" (Philippians 1:21-NIV).
Where ever you find yourself today, just remember, you have been gifted with a great talent to influence those around you. Use that talent wisely to draw all other to Christ. Let's use our God given talents to influence the world! To lift Jesus higher so that all men will know Him and live!
Help! I'm Covered in Wax
Celeste Barnard
celestebarnard.blogspot.com
I was trying to light a candle the other day, and it would not light. It wasn't at the end either--you know where the wick meets the metal. This candle was fairly new.
The had built up and would not allow the fire to burn. The Lord showed me that in my own walk with Him I had allowed some wax to build up in certain areas. I was not able to fully fulfill the purposes He has for me with the build up of wax in my life. You see the wick's purpose is to burn--but it cannot fulfill its purpose covered in wax.
Definition of wax: A plastic, dull, yellow substance secreted by bees for building cells; beeswax; It is hard when cold and easily molded when warm- Used for candles, modeling, etc.
Love, love, love this definition of wax. Let me tell you why. It is hard when cold and easily molded when warm.
Kind of like our hearts.
When we are cold towards the things of God, we are not easily molded. When we are warm or even hot--watch out world because it is then, and only then the Lord can shape and mold us.
Psalm 97:5
The mountains melt like wax before the Presence of the Lord
So here's the thing, we don't ever want to get legalistic about our walk with the Lord. Everyone has been called to walk their own 'walk'. So what is it today that's causing your wick to be covered by wax?
What's stopping you from burning bright for the Lord Jesus Christ?
For some, you might just need to get back to reading the Word and letting the Lord change you through His Word.
For others, you need to put Him first in your life again. Start setting aside some time in your week to turn on the praise and worship music and sing a new song to Him.
As we do these daily disciplines in our life--not out of obligation but out out of a love for Him--we will notice (and others too!) a light burning on the inside that cannot help but shine!
MATTHEW 5:16
Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.
celestebarnard.blogspot.com
I was trying to light a candle the other day, and it would not light. It wasn't at the end either--you know where the wick meets the metal. This candle was fairly new.
The had built up and would not allow the fire to burn. The Lord showed me that in my own walk with Him I had allowed some wax to build up in certain areas. I was not able to fully fulfill the purposes He has for me with the build up of wax in my life. You see the wick's purpose is to burn--but it cannot fulfill its purpose covered in wax.
Definition of wax: A plastic, dull, yellow substance secreted by bees for building cells; beeswax; It is hard when cold and easily molded when warm- Used for candles, modeling, etc.
Love, love, love this definition of wax. Let me tell you why. It is hard when cold and easily molded when warm.
Kind of like our hearts.
When we are cold towards the things of God, we are not easily molded. When we are warm or even hot--watch out world because it is then, and only then the Lord can shape and mold us.
Psalm 97:5
The mountains melt like wax before the Presence of the Lord
So here's the thing, we don't ever want to get legalistic about our walk with the Lord. Everyone has been called to walk their own 'walk'. So what is it today that's causing your wick to be covered by wax?
What's stopping you from burning bright for the Lord Jesus Christ?
For some, you might just need to get back to reading the Word and letting the Lord change you through His Word.
For others, you need to put Him first in your life again. Start setting aside some time in your week to turn on the praise and worship music and sing a new song to Him.
As we do these daily disciplines in our life--not out of obligation but out out of a love for Him--we will notice (and others too!) a light burning on the inside that cannot help but shine!
MATTHEW 5:16
Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.
It’s been in you all along!
Last night I watched a sweet little modern day fairy tale about a girl named Penelope (written by Leslie Caveny). She was born to a wealthy family who had a dirty little secret; it seems her great, great, great grandfather fell in love with a servant girl. This relationship brought shame to his parents until, feeling the reproach of his family he decides to marry a beautiful aristocrat instead. The pregnant servant girl was devastated and jumps off a cliff to her death. Her mother then puts a curse on the wealthy family, that every descendant born a girl would have the face of a pig until the day one of her kind learns to love her until death just as she is…The following generations saw only boys to the relief of the family, until Penelope was born.
Penelope grows up to be this lonely heiress who spends her life trying to break the family curse by finding a suitor from her family blood line. Men of her kind are plenty but when they take a look at her pig nose, they run away in disgust. One day she meets a handsome and charming young man who falls in love with her. Of course, as with every fairy tale, there is a problem…He is not of her blood line and so he refuses to marry her because he knows she would be robbed of her chance to meet someone of her lineage who could break the spell. Everything in Penelope’s life comes to a boiling point when she finally realizes that she doesn’t want to continue searching for a way out of her situation, but instead, she accepts herself just as she is. And that’s when Penelope’s life turns around. The spell is broken, she goes searching for her prince charming and they live happily ever after.
I absolutely loved this little story, not because it is a fairy tale and I am a girl, or because James McAvoy is gorgeous, which he is! But because I saw a significant message in it that resonates with women I meet with regularly; self confidence and the lack thereof. Many of us believe all the negative things people tell us about ourselves and will live our lives in confusion, obscurity and loneliness but that is not what God intended for us. We are so much more!
Penelope was beautiful, wealthy, refined, gifted and kind but she couldn’t see pass her deformity. She lived her life consumed with trying to fix the problem instead of looking inward and loving and accepting herself as the amazing person she was. Many women live their lives just like Penelope, looking for a quick fix or looking for love in all the wrong places; oblivious to what is in them all along.
God created us with a purpose. He made us after His own image and placed us where we are for reasons that go beyond our family traditions, dirty secrets, lineage, or looks. We are His and He is ours, what curse can come against that? There is nothing on this earth that has been spoken over your life (be it by words or by actions) that could ever separate you from your creator and in any way, shape or form destroy what God has purposed for your life even before your birth.
No devil or demon could ever foil God’s plans for your life, but they will try. The world in all its wickedness and arrogance will tell you that you are ugly, unwanted, unworthy and broken. But God tells you, “look deep within and you will see my mark in you.” “You belong to me and I love you as you are!” David understood and believed this when he stated in Psalm 8:4-6 (Contemporary English Version),
Then I ask, "Why do you care about us humans? Why are you concerned for us weaklings?
You made us a little lower than you yourself, and you have crowned us with glory and honor.
You let us rule everything your hands have made. And you put all of it under our power…
If you have not seen this movie, I hope I have not spoiled it by telling you much of the plot. I felt I needed to share this little golden nugget with you today. Please remember that you are loved by the one who matters most and everything you need in order to live a fulfilled and successful life has been placed in you by Him – it’s been in you all along!
I leave you with a scripture I find most inspiring on days when I look at myself in the mirror and see something other than what God sees. It is found in the book of Isaiah 43:1-4 (The Message translation). I love this translation and want you to pay close attention to the very last line. How awesome is it to be loved like that?
But now, God's Message, the God who made you in the first place, Jacob, the One who got you started,
over your head, I'll be there with you. When you're in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you're between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end—because I am God,
your personal God, the Holy of
with rich Cush and Seba thrown in! That's how much you mean to me! That's how much I love you!
I'd sell off the whole world to get you back, trade the creation just for you.
And the Winner Is...
Joyce Tyson!
Joyce was selected using Random.org for our weekly giveaway. She will receive
a copy of the new devotional From My Heart to Yours: Inspirational
Messages from Ministers of the Gospel.
A special thank you to Benchmark Group Publishers LLC for allowing us to give away this wonderful book. If you would like to purchase a copy, email benchmarkorders@aol.com. Check out their website too!
A special thank you to Benchmark Group Publishers LLC for allowing us to give away this wonderful book. If you would like to purchase a copy, email benchmarkorders@aol.com. Check out their website too!
Advice for a Lasting Marriage
I was sorting through some old papers recently and came across a stack of brightly colored note cards. Dearly loved women from my past wrote these cards for me at my bridal shower. Some have recipes, others scraps of wisdom or helpful tips. The thoughtful advice from seasoned matriarchs and the practical counsel penned on that day are just as encouraging now as they were then.
In fact, the notes speak to me more today, after almost 18 years of marriage, as I now know for myself what it means to have a loving, fruitful marriage. I'm so grateful to the Lord for putting so many wonderful older women in my life as I entered into marriage. Their examples still bear fruit in my life today.
Here are some of the notes I received in June 1991:
* Remember to show and tell each other often how much you love, respect and appreciate each other. Give each other lots of compliments. Don't criticize each other. Try not to correct each other, especially in front of other people. Take control of your thoughts. As much as possible, replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Be happy!
* Hold hands when you are having a "disagreement".
* Marriage is not 50-50. It is 100% of effort by each person.
* Try very hard to set aside time just for you and your husband, especially after you have children. Go on a date or do something special, at least once a month. You won't regret it!
* Never end the day with a grudge.
* "Never, never, never give up." --Winston Churchill
* Start out your marriage the way you want it to be. It is difficult to change after the pattern is set.
* First of all, keep your eyes upon the Savior who gave His life for all. Be sure to read His word every day and let it be a pattern for your lives. Don't ever let the sun go down until you've forgiven each other if you've had a bit of a quarrel. Tell each other "I love you" every day. We have a little thing between us that we squeeze each other three times, and that means the same thing. Have fun.
* Support each other as you encounter life's challenges; this will make you strong in each others' love.
* Put your arms around your husband and tell him that you love him (and count to 10 before you let go), as many times as you can, during the day.
* Take long walks together. Walking is the best time to talk.
* Remember to keep your friendship alive. Your husband is your best friend. Let the Lord be the Lord and the head of your home. I know this is your desire.
Some of these women have gone to be with the Lord now, after decades of faithful marriage. Others are getting older, but are still holding hands, hugging and taking walks with their husbands. As for me, I am grateful to God for 18 wonderful years with my beloved.
I'm planning to attend two July weddings this summer. The brides were both little girls when I said my vows. I offer them the same advice that was given to me: Laugh together. Walk and talk together. Forgive each other. Look to Christ every day. Read the Word. Pray together. Remember that you are each others' best friend, so always take time for each other. Give 100%, all of the time. And Never, never, never give up!
In fact, the notes speak to me more today, after almost 18 years of marriage, as I now know for myself what it means to have a loving, fruitful marriage. I'm so grateful to the Lord for putting so many wonderful older women in my life as I entered into marriage. Their examples still bear fruit in my life today.
Here are some of the notes I received in June 1991:
* Remember to show and tell each other often how much you love, respect and appreciate each other. Give each other lots of compliments. Don't criticize each other. Try not to correct each other, especially in front of other people. Take control of your thoughts. As much as possible, replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Be happy!
* Hold hands when you are having a "disagreement".
* Marriage is not 50-50. It is 100% of effort by each person.
* Try very hard to set aside time just for you and your husband, especially after you have children. Go on a date or do something special, at least once a month. You won't regret it!
* Never end the day with a grudge.
* "Never, never, never give up." --Winston Churchill
* Start out your marriage the way you want it to be. It is difficult to change after the pattern is set.
* First of all, keep your eyes upon the Savior who gave His life for all. Be sure to read His word every day and let it be a pattern for your lives. Don't ever let the sun go down until you've forgiven each other if you've had a bit of a quarrel. Tell each other "I love you" every day. We have a little thing between us that we squeeze each other three times, and that means the same thing. Have fun.
* Support each other as you encounter life's challenges; this will make you strong in each others' love.
* Put your arms around your husband and tell him that you love him (and count to 10 before you let go), as many times as you can, during the day.
* Take long walks together. Walking is the best time to talk.
* Remember to keep your friendship alive. Your husband is your best friend. Let the Lord be the Lord and the head of your home. I know this is your desire.
Some of these women have gone to be with the Lord now, after decades of faithful marriage. Others are getting older, but are still holding hands, hugging and taking walks with their husbands. As for me, I am grateful to God for 18 wonderful years with my beloved.
I'm planning to attend two July weddings this summer. The brides were both little girls when I said my vows. I offer them the same advice that was given to me: Laugh together. Walk and talk together. Forgive each other. Look to Christ every day. Read the Word. Pray together. Remember that you are each others' best friend, so always take time for each other. Give 100%, all of the time. And Never, never, never give up!
Be Holy Because I am Holy
Emily Beth Leathers
"Therefore,
prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the
grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do
not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as
He who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do: for it is written: 'Be
holy, because I am holy.'" -1 Peter 1:13-16
"Therefore, I urge you,
brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices,
holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform
any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of
your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--His
good, pleasing, and perfect will." -Romans 12:1-2
dif⋅fer⋅ent
: –adjective
1. not alike in character or quality; differing; dissimilar
2. not identical; separate or distinct
3. various; several
[4. not
ordinary; unusual]
ho⋅ly : –adjective
3. saintly; godly; pious; devout
4. having
a spiritually pure quality
I am so fed up with all the talk and no walk.
You who constantly degrade my name and
seek out your own fulfillment in lovers that will never satisfy your deepest
hearts longing. You left me for them. You left my embrace, for another. You
handed back to me the grace and love I so freely poured upon you and fell in
love instead with those that only seek your death and destruction.
You say you follow me, yet you serve other gods. You say you love me, but you spend all your time with your other lovers: Facebook. Clothes. Boys. School. Church. Girls. Video Games. Makeup. Movies. Music. Language. Computer. Television. Texting.
I am disgusted by your religious words and actions. I've had enough!
If you are going to follow me, then die to these things and pick up your cross and daily--every minute--every second--follow me! Return to me you adulterous people!
Don't you see? I AM all that will ever satisfy.
I am all that will ever last. I want to be your lover. I want all your time to be consumed with thinking about me, talking to me, talking about me, loving me.
I want all your time. Not 15 minutes. Not an hour. Not when it's convenient for you. But all of it! I demand so much from you because I AM a jealous God...I set the standard high for you because I love you. Do not settle for less than My absolute best for you! I want to hold your heart! I want you to cling to Me and embrace no other! I want all of you.
If only you would see... how much I love
you.
-Jesus
"I will heal their waywardness and love them
freely, for my anger has turned away from them..." [Hosea
14:4]
From My Heart to Yours Give A Way!
This week we would like to bless one of our readers with the new
From My Heart to Yours: Inspirational Messages from Ministers of the
Gospel devotional in honor of Father's Day. Our very own Vicki
Huffman and Patti Hummel have donated their newest publication for your
enjoyment.
To enter, please leave a comment here by Monday, June 22nd at midnight
Eastern Standard Time. If you post a few words and a link to this contest on
your facebook page or blog, or if you tweet about it with a link on twitter,
you'll be entered again (once for each place you post, as long as you leave us a
separate comment with your link for each).
Here are the rules: Just put a comment here on the MMCW blog for your first
entry. If you write a blog post, a tweet, or a Facebook entry, post an
additional comment here for each place you write about the contest, including
the URL for your blog post or your user name for Twitter or Facebook.
If you do all four, you'll need to submit four comments so that we can make
sure to enter you four times! Be sure to include a link to this post's URL in
your blog post, tweets, and Facebook entries. There is a maximum of four entries
per person. The winner will be chosen by Random.org and announced next Tuesday,
June 23rd.
The Power of Listening
If I was Paul or if I had anything to do with the writings in the New Testament, I would have added a whole lot of extra gifts to the line up of spiritual gifts. I am one of those people who truly believes we have all been gifted by God with some talent, whether we choose to exercise it or not and somehow 9 gifts just doesn't cover all the wonderful creativity and God given talents I have seen displayed by people all over the world. God truly has an amazing, beautiful mind and His ways are...well, amazingly higher and mysterious.
There are many learned talents out there and there are many God given talents carved within us probably before birth. I find that the talent of listening is one I particularly need. Most people tend to lean towards the most popular talents like singing, speaking, healing, prophesying, and the list goes on. But what about the talents that will require us to spend time with the unwanted? Could you see yourself doing that which would demand your time and focus on someone that's annoying, ornery, hateful, and just plain ugly? Somehow I can hear crickets chirping...
I have to confess, I have a hard time listening to people at times. I don't necessarily enjoy having to sit for long periods of time listening to some lost soul telling me their life story in hopes that at the end of their spill I can give them an antidote for whatever ails them. Is hard to sit through painful conversations or to deal with people who just don't seem to be able to get over their past or get on with their lives after some climactic event. How compassionate does that sound, for a minister's wife? I'm just being honest. Sometimes I don't have the patience or the stamina to hear the same stories over and over again. So what do I do? I tune out! Don't take me wrong, I don't go away and ignore needy people. I sit there and look at them and although thoughts of the lasagna I'm supposed to be baking in an hour float in and out of my mind, I make a great effort to give my undivided attention.
I know this all sounds very out of character for a woman in a leadership position, but hear me out; some of us just aren't gifted enough to sit through the soap operas that many people go through in life. I want to though, I really do. I so want to be that person who listens unconditionally and with utmost patience. I pray that God will make me that person and that He will fill my heart and soul with nothing but compassion for people who do not have it all together...People like me.
Maybe that's the problem...I see too much of me in the stories I hear. Or maybe the problem is that I don't have the answers they need and all I can do is hurt for them. It is very hard to listen to a young girl tell you about the sexual abuse she has been enduring by her own father and not feel a part of you bleed inside. It is equally hard to listen to a close friend tell you she is leaving her husband and children because she has fallen in love with another woman...How do I listen without judging and continue to love like Christ?
I want God to bless me with the gift of listening. Not for the sake of simply hearing stories, but for the purpose of encouraging and learning. I'm pretty sure every story has a unique twist that undoubtedly could impart some wisdom or warning to me as a human. I need to hear what God wants to say to me through people, and if I casually listen I may miss the message. How simple and yet complicated is this business of listening?! In one hand it annoys me to no end while on the other hand I desperately seek for ways to understand what I am being told as if an ancient secret was waiting for me to decipher it.
Listening is an art and a gift, and for some, listening is an unwanted most do!
Barbara Brown Taylor in her book, Leaving Church makes a statement that resonates with me and one I want to share with you;
"When I went home at night, I drove past homeless people pushing their grocery carts down empty streets, and hospitals with all their windows lit. I carried with me all the stories I had heard that day, from the young woman who had just discovered that he baby she carried inside of her was deformed to the old man who had just lost his wife of fifty-seven years. I knew that I would hear more such stories the next day, and the day after that, with no healing power but the power of listening at my command."
Some times we are given great insight into people's lives through spiritual discernment, but sometimes all we are given is the power of listening. I'm learning as I sit and listen to people, that though I may not always know what to say, I can always pray for them. Perhaps God doesn't want me to say a thing at all. Could it be that God strategically placed you and me in the path of someone who needs a listening ear today, just so we can be there as a representative of Christ's love; Jesus with skin...When we listen, we plant a seed, then God takes over and completes the work.
Its a trust Issue!
I have a GPS Unit which I use frequently. I love that little piece of equipment because not only does it guide me to get where I wish to go, but it prompts me before hand to allow me enough time to visualize my next turn and it even recalibrate a new route if I miss a turn. In one word, it gives me: Security! As long as I have the GPS with me, I know I will get to my destination safe and sound.
Is funny, but I remember a time when we didn’t have a GPS and my husband would drive with me a day before I needed to get somewhere, just so I would become familiar with the route and feel comfortable when I had to go by myself. It was more work, but served the same purpose as the GPS; it gave me a sense of security.
For instance, today I had made an appointment to have my hair colored and styled by a friend of mine who owns a hair salon in a town adjacent to mine. I had never been to this specific location, but that didn’t matter to me because I knew I would get there easily with my handy dandy GPS. That is until I got into my car and reached to where it usually sits. I gasped when I didn't find it and then I remembered I had let my brother in law borrow it the night before. Yikes!
I got very nervous and even thought about canceling the appointment, but a brilliant idea came to me then; I can always Google the directions and print them. I went to my office and printed the directions, and quickly went on my way; I felt a little nervous but nevertheless secure. I knew I would get there with my map at hand. That is until I missed my turn and couldn’t figure out how to get back on track.
Did I mentioned I had never driven to this location before?
I ended up in the middle of nowhere that resemble anything familiar to me. Panic was beginning to set in, when I decided to call my husband and asked if he had any ideas on how I could get back on track. He said; “sure, just use Google map on your phone and follow the directions.” What?!? You mean I have a built in GPS on my phone and didn’t even know it?! You see the importance of knowledge? As G.I.Joe would say; "Knowing is half the battle", so, after a crash course on that program, I finally made it to my final destination, 30 minutes later and got to thinking about the whole ordeal.
I'm too trustworthy of all my gadgets and devices. I find that I am just as trustworthy of things in this world that have no eternal value. These are the things that could break my heart, disappear without so much as a warning, mislead me, and could even destroy me. How often do I trust the one who is in control of all things?
Just like I kept trying to get to my final destination by relying on a GPS or a map, spiritually, we try desperately to rely on our own strength, our own views or way of doing things until something goes wrong, and then we find ourselves by the side of the road calling out for help only to find out , help was with us all along. Didn't God promise in His word that He would be with us always? Why don't we trust Him enough?
In Job 11:18 (New International Reader's Version) the author write: You will be secure, because there is hope. You will look around you and find a safe place to rest.
I pray you’ll get to a place in your life were you will recognize that the God who is with you, is greater, reliable, unique, good, just, right, understanding, present and more than enough for you.
Is funny, but I remember a time when we didn’t have a GPS and my husband would drive with me a day before I needed to get somewhere, just so I would become familiar with the route and feel comfortable when I had to go by myself. It was more work, but served the same purpose as the GPS; it gave me a sense of security.
For instance, today I had made an appointment to have my hair colored and styled by a friend of mine who owns a hair salon in a town adjacent to mine. I had never been to this specific location, but that didn’t matter to me because I knew I would get there easily with my handy dandy GPS. That is until I got into my car and reached to where it usually sits. I gasped when I didn't find it and then I remembered I had let my brother in law borrow it the night before. Yikes!
I got very nervous and even thought about canceling the appointment, but a brilliant idea came to me then; I can always Google the directions and print them. I went to my office and printed the directions, and quickly went on my way; I felt a little nervous but nevertheless secure. I knew I would get there with my map at hand. That is until I missed my turn and couldn’t figure out how to get back on track.
Did I mentioned I had never driven to this location before?
I ended up in the middle of nowhere that resemble anything familiar to me. Panic was beginning to set in, when I decided to call my husband and asked if he had any ideas on how I could get back on track. He said; “sure, just use Google map on your phone and follow the directions.” What?!? You mean I have a built in GPS on my phone and didn’t even know it?! You see the importance of knowledge? As G.I.Joe would say; "Knowing is half the battle", so, after a crash course on that program, I finally made it to my final destination, 30 minutes later and got to thinking about the whole ordeal.
I'm too trustworthy of all my gadgets and devices. I find that I am just as trustworthy of things in this world that have no eternal value. These are the things that could break my heart, disappear without so much as a warning, mislead me, and could even destroy me. How often do I trust the one who is in control of all things?
Just like I kept trying to get to my final destination by relying on a GPS or a map, spiritually, we try desperately to rely on our own strength, our own views or way of doing things until something goes wrong, and then we find ourselves by the side of the road calling out for help only to find out , help was with us all along. Didn't God promise in His word that He would be with us always? Why don't we trust Him enough?
In Job 11:18 (New International Reader's Version) the author write: You will be secure, because there is hope. You will look around you and find a safe place to rest.
I pray you’ll get to a place in your life were you will recognize that the God who is with you, is greater, reliable, unique, good, just, right, understanding, present and more than enough for you.
Planning a Wedding!
Kellie Renfroe
Oasis
It's official--our daughter is planning a wedding.
Everything is in place--the bridesmaid dresses, location, and time.
What is not decided upon is the groom. That will come much, much later.
I've wondered when we would get around to talking about weddings.
As little girls we all dream and plan, then we plan and dream some more about our wedding day. For my daughter it occurred as we picked out tomato plants, Canola oil, and Rubbermaid containers at Wal-Mart Saturday.
My mind was crowded with important things such as where I was going to plant the tomato plant and what to cook for dinner. DD's mind was filled to overflowing with rose petals, long dresses, and a 5 o'clock wedding.
In the hearts of little girls the Lord puts a desire, dream, and vision for their one-of-a-kind wedding day. It's one of the beautiful mysteries of being a little girl.
While her thoughts are filled with flowers and sunsets her groom is not even in the equation.
Poor little boy--he probably spent today swimming and riding his bike not knowing she was planning one of the most important days of his life.
Oasis
It's official--our daughter is planning a wedding.
Everything is in place--the bridesmaid dresses, location, and time.
What is not decided upon is the groom. That will come much, much later.
I've wondered when we would get around to talking about weddings.
As little girls we all dream and plan, then we plan and dream some more about our wedding day. For my daughter it occurred as we picked out tomato plants, Canola oil, and Rubbermaid containers at Wal-Mart Saturday.
My mind was crowded with important things such as where I was going to plant the tomato plant and what to cook for dinner. DD's mind was filled to overflowing with rose petals, long dresses, and a 5 o'clock wedding.
In the hearts of little girls the Lord puts a desire, dream, and vision for their one-of-a-kind wedding day. It's one of the beautiful mysteries of being a little girl.
While her thoughts are filled with flowers and sunsets her groom is not even in the equation.
Poor little boy--he probably spent today swimming and riding his bike not knowing she was planning one of the most important days of his life.
I'm sure his response would have been yuck had he
known!
She will plan for years without him, but it does not mean he is not important.
From the time I found out I was expecting her I began preparing for him.
I made the decision with our first child to pray for our children's future spouse. This prayer precedent was set by my grandparents who prayed for my husband, children, and children's children from my birth until they passed way. Following their example, I also include prayers for parents, siblings, and friends who are right now greatly influencing the lives of my children's future spouses.
Catching a glimpse of a beautiful wedding day in the distant (very distant) future was a joy. It's all make-believe for her right now, but we all know it is one dream that can become reality.
She does not realize the missing ingredient, her groom, is the most important part of the day.
She will plan for years without him, but it does not mean he is not important.
From the time I found out I was expecting her I began preparing for him.
I made the decision with our first child to pray for our children's future spouse. This prayer precedent was set by my grandparents who prayed for my husband, children, and children's children from my birth until they passed way. Following their example, I also include prayers for parents, siblings, and friends who are right now greatly influencing the lives of my children's future spouses.
Catching a glimpse of a beautiful wedding day in the distant (very distant) future was a joy. It's all make-believe for her right now, but we all know it is one dream that can become reality.
She does not realize the missing ingredient, her groom, is the most important part of the day.
While she is dreaming of a long white dress with sequins and lace I'll be
praying for a little boy that will one day be a part of our family.
****************************
Have you checked out Mentoring Moments' Marriage Blog Carnival? If you enjoy visiting blogs then you'll love the quality writers and their interesting blogs on the subject of marriage. You will laugh, cry, and be challenged. Who knows--you may also find some great give-a-ways to join too!
Do you blog? Send us a submission with your link and you may see your article posted here or on the website! MentoringMoments@aol.com
****************************
Have you checked out Mentoring Moments' Marriage Blog Carnival? If you enjoy visiting blogs then you'll love the quality writers and their interesting blogs on the subject of marriage. You will laugh, cry, and be challenged. Who knows--you may also find some great give-a-ways to join too!
Do you blog? Send us a submission with your link and you may see your article posted here or on the website! MentoringMoments@aol.com
And the Winner Is...
Jan Nellis!
Jan was selected using Radom.org for our weekly giveaway. She will receive
a copy of the new devotional From My Heart to Yours: Inspirational
Messages from Wives of Ministers.
If you would like to purchase a copy, Benchmark is making a special offer to all MMCW readers. With every two orders (can be two of one title) Benchmark is offering FREE shipping and handling along with no taxes. Each book is reasonable priced at $12.99 and would make perfect gifts. Order must be for two books ($12.99 each times two =$25.98) to receive free shipping and handling and no tax on order. This offer is good through June 12, 2009. Place orders by emailing benchmarkorders@aol.com.
Later today MMCW will be posting details for this week's giveaway so stay
tuned!
Oops--We Goofed!
Today's blog post quoted the lyrics of a popular Christian song. The writer did not realize, nor did I, the strict laws governing song copyrights. There are a lot of copyrighted things floating around the internet but MMCW does not want to infringe upon any copyright laws. The blog post has been removed and we apologize for our unintentional use of the lyrics.
On another note I would like to encourage everyone to get their comment entries in for our great devotional give away this week--From My Heart to Yours: Inspirational Messages from the Wives of Minsters. The deadline is Monday, May 25th at midnight EST. Pass along the link to friends so they can enter too!
Thank you for your continued support and readership--the entire staff is praying for you all!
Kellie
Kellie Renfroe
On another note I would like to encourage everyone to get their comment entries in for our great devotional give away this week--From My Heart to Yours: Inspirational Messages from the Wives of Minsters. The deadline is Monday, May 25th at midnight EST. Pass along the link to friends so they can enter too!
Thank you for your continued support and readership--the entire staff is praying for you all!
Kellie
Kellie Renfroe
Constantly Changing My Heart
I was listening to the song “Who You Are” by the contemporary Christian music group 4 Him. This has been a favorite song to me for some time now. I decided to recite the words to myself while listening to the song. There is just something about reciting the words to a meaningful song; it takes you beyond the melody to a deep place. Today, while listening to this song in my heart I could sense I was having a God and I moment.
If you'd like to hear the song and read the lyrics got to www.4him.net
I almost choked up every time I got to the line…” Who You are is all I'll ever want to be..." Ever since I can remember I wanted nothing more than to be as close to God as humanly possible. But just as passionate as my desire for Him has been, so has my indifference been at times.
There are dark places in my heart I try to keep isolated from God as if He didn’t know or as if He couldn't see through the thick wall of pretensions, doubt, fear, and stubbornness, among other works of the flesh I sometimes cultivate, willing or unwillingly. Here's the thing; I say I love God and want to be like Him, but my behavior shows differently. I clearly understand Paul when he wrote in Romans 7:15 (New Living Translation)
I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.
The good news is; God is constantly changing my heart and bringing me out of those dark places, until I am closer to who He is and not to whom I am. Who I am can only bring me calamity and failure, but who He is will bring me honor and hope. I feel great comfort in my spirit when I think of the fact that when I stand before God, it is His son’s righteousness that’ll cover me and make me acceptable to Him. We all know too well that our own righteousness is as filthy rags before our awesome God. It is because of Christ, God can look at you and me and not turn away in disgust and disappointment. Because of his righteousness we are even acknowledged.
American best selling author, Anne Lamott once said something interesting about grace; "I do not understand the mystery of grace-only that it meets us were we are but does not leave us where it found us (www.thinkexist.com)." That is God's grace; unmerited favor! It takes us wretched and broken and sets us up in high places. How overwhelmingly beautiful is that!
The fact that we have absolutely nothing of value to God and yet he desires fellowship with us, should make us want him more.
In 2 Corinthians 5:21 (New Living Translation) the Apostle Paul says,
For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.
Again we see grace at work through Christ on our behalf. What an amazing gift we've been given in Christ! Because he took upon himself our sin, God is willing to draw us closer to who He is. It is indeed amazing to think that the God of the universe is constantly changing your heart in order to reveal more of himself to you and as a result to the world around you.
If you'd like to hear the song and read the lyrics got to www.4him.net
I almost choked up every time I got to the line…” Who You are is all I'll ever want to be..." Ever since I can remember I wanted nothing more than to be as close to God as humanly possible. But just as passionate as my desire for Him has been, so has my indifference been at times.
There are dark places in my heart I try to keep isolated from God as if He didn’t know or as if He couldn't see through the thick wall of pretensions, doubt, fear, and stubbornness, among other works of the flesh I sometimes cultivate, willing or unwillingly. Here's the thing; I say I love God and want to be like Him, but my behavior shows differently. I clearly understand Paul when he wrote in Romans 7:15 (New Living Translation)
I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.
The good news is; God is constantly changing my heart and bringing me out of those dark places, until I am closer to who He is and not to whom I am. Who I am can only bring me calamity and failure, but who He is will bring me honor and hope. I feel great comfort in my spirit when I think of the fact that when I stand before God, it is His son’s righteousness that’ll cover me and make me acceptable to Him. We all know too well that our own righteousness is as filthy rags before our awesome God. It is because of Christ, God can look at you and me and not turn away in disgust and disappointment. Because of his righteousness we are even acknowledged.
American best selling author, Anne Lamott once said something interesting about grace; "I do not understand the mystery of grace-only that it meets us were we are but does not leave us where it found us (www.thinkexist.com)." That is God's grace; unmerited favor! It takes us wretched and broken and sets us up in high places. How overwhelmingly beautiful is that!
The fact that we have absolutely nothing of value to God and yet he desires fellowship with us, should make us want him more.
In 2 Corinthians 5:21 (New Living Translation) the Apostle Paul says,
For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.
Again we see grace at work through Christ on our behalf. What an amazing gift we've been given in Christ! Because he took upon himself our sin, God is willing to draw us closer to who He is. It is indeed amazing to think that the God of the universe is constantly changing your heart in order to reveal more of himself to you and as a result to the world around you.
Another chance to win Nathan Clark George music AND Ultimate Homeschool Expo
This week I'm giving away another Nathan Clark George item....this time it is the DVD. This DVD contains both the live concert footage as well as a 35 minute documentary about Nathan's family, who homeschool their several young children in an RV while they travel the country sharing the Gospel.
Details about the contest are on Countercultural School blog this week. Deadline to enter is Saturday.
I hope some of you will find time to join me at this afternoon's Ultimate Homeschool Expo preview chat. I'll be speaking at 1 pm CST today on the topic Temptation and the Married Woman. In this message, I'll be looking at the link between discontentment, temptation and sin, and sharing practical, scriptural thoughts about dealing with temptation.
To listen to this free preview chat from your computer, you can log in online at 1 pm CST. You can also call in from your telephone to listen to this Blog Talk Radio program.
Details about the contest are on Countercultural School blog this week. Deadline to enter is Saturday.
I hope some of you will find time to join me at this afternoon's Ultimate Homeschool Expo preview chat. I'll be speaking at 1 pm CST today on the topic Temptation and the Married Woman. In this message, I'll be looking at the link between discontentment, temptation and sin, and sharing practical, scriptural thoughts about dealing with temptation.
To listen to this free preview chat from your computer, you can log in online at 1 pm CST. You can also call in from your telephone to listen to this Blog Talk Radio program.
Call-in Number: (347) 205-9175
From My Heart To Yours Give-A-Way!
This week we would like to bless one of our readers with the new From
My Heart to Yours: Inspirational Messages from the Wives of
Ministers devotional. Our very own Vicki Huffman and Patti Hummel
have donated their newest publication for your enjoyment.
To enter, please leave a comment here by Monday, May 25th at midnight
Eastern Standard Time. If you post a few words and a link to this contest on
your facebook page or blog, or if you tweet about it with a link on twitter,
you'll be entered again (once for each place you post, as long as you leave us a
separate comment with your link for each).
Here are the rules: Just put a comment here on the MMCW blog for your first
entry. If you write a blog post, a tweet, or a Facebook entry, post an
additional comment here for each place you write about the contest, including
the URL for your blog post or your user name for Twitter or Facebook.
If you do all four, you'll need to submit four comments so that we can make
sure to enter you four times! Be sure to include a link to this post's URL in
your blog post, tweets, and Facebook entries. There is a maximum of four entries
per person. The winner will be chosen by Random.org and announced next Tuesday,
May 26th.
Enjoy this excerpt from the book:
Where Pigs Do Fly
Margie Campbell
Every good and perfect gift is from above. James 1:17a NIV
There it goes again. With snorts and buzzes, one pink plastic pig soars
through the room, propelled by our youngest son's hand. A son we never imagined
we would have. A few years ago Bruce and I thought our family was complete with
Jason, almost a teenager, and younger brothers, Brian and baby Benjamin. But to
my surprise fortieth birthday present would come eight years later. Thoughts of
Abraham and Sarah came to mind, as we questioned God's wisdom. As the months
passed, our sons observed how a mother carries a burden but considers it a
blessing. My expanding silhouette became the topic of serious conversation.
"Mom, is that a basketball under your shirt?'' and "Well, then, I have a kitty
in MY tummy!"
I celebrated by milestone birthday with eight hours of false labor. Nine
days later, we welcomed Joseph Sterling. Our hearts melted. His brothers
experienced a new dynamic in brotherhood. I treasured the bond of another
nursing baby. Shortly after weaning, Joseph patted my chest and sighed, "Milky
went bye-bye. Mommy broken. Two brokens." (He likes to count.) Life passes
quickly. These precious moments can get lost in the shuffle. But for now, pigs
can once again fly. Geckos are bathed, while dinosaurs play in barns next to
cows, horses, AND Superman. Precious quotes are being recorded. There is joy in
teaching another wee one that "Yes, Jesus loves you." The Lord has answered our
prayers by handing us the puzzle piece we didn't know was missing. We are even
better equipped to serve Jesus, who gives every perfect gift.
Excerpted from the devotional book: From My Heart to Yours:
Inspirational Messages from the Wives of Ministers (copyright 2009, The
Benchmark Group LLC, $12.99). For ordering information email benchmarkgroup1@aol.com
Dates to Remember
Marriage: For Better, For Worse. Join Bob Moeller with
Eric Aucoin, every Monday evening 9:00 - 10:00 p.m., live! Call-in show that
airs live on Monday. It is also shown four other times during the week on
Comcast Cable's Total Living Network. It's also on Sky Angel. If you want to
watch it online, during the show, it's streaming live at Total Living Network.
Discontentment, Temptation, and Sin. Join Molly Evert on
the Ultimate Homeschool Expo call May 19th at 1 PM. Call in using your phone,
cell-phone or SKYPE at 347.205.9175. Join the call live online at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Ultimate-Homeschool-Expo
Choosing the Best Books: Building Your Home Library. Join
Molly Evert on the Ultimate Homeschool Expo call May 26th at 10 AM. Call in
using your phone, cell-phone or SKYPE at 347.205.9175. Join the call live online
at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Ultimate-Homeschool-Expo
Susan Boyle's Gift
Donna VanLiere
Author of Finding Grace: A True Story About Losing Your Way in Life...And Finding It Again
I am one of the nearly forty-nine million You Tube viewers who have watched Susan Boyle, the unemployed cat owner from Scotland, blow away the audience of Britain's Got Talent.
Before she takes the stage we learn that Boyle is 47, never married, never kissed, spends her days with Pebbles the cat, and by eye-balling her: frizzy graying hair, eyebrows like caterpillars, ill-fitting dress, gray pantyhose and open-toed cream colored shoes, we assume she's not a beauty pageant winner. The audience and judges size her up too. When she says her age judge Simon Cowell responds with an exaggerated eyeball roll and fellow judge Piers Morgan, a former tabloid newspaper editor, furrows his brow (clearly this ancient dame is wasting his time). Amanda Holden, the third judge, is a beautiful English actress with a body and face that no matter how good your self-image is -- if you stand next to her in line at the coffee shop -- you instantly feel bloated and troll-like. Cutaway shots to the audience show young people snickering and looking at Boyle as if she forgot her mop backstage.
"Okay," Cowell says. "What's the dream?" This is what it all boils to, really. The dream. The hope.
"I'm trying to be a professional singer," Boyle says. (Insert shot of young girl reacting as if saying, "Yeah, right. And I want to be Amanda Holden.")
When she says she'd like to be as successful as English musical theater legend Elaine Page, the cynicism in the room is as thick as Boyle's eyebrows. If Boyle detects any of the sarcasm, unbelief, or disdain she never lets on. She announces her song choice from Les Miserables and Morgan laughs.
Boyle signals for the song to begin and holds onto her mic like a child at her first school program. Then . . . she opens her mouth and when she does the audience erupts in cheers and applause. Simon Cowell's eyes widen, Amanda Holden's mouth drops open and Piers Morgan, who just seconds ago laughed at her, now smiles and applauds. Again, if Boyle is aware of the cheers, ovations and wild applause she doesn't let on. In moments, the lovely Holden is on her feet aiming her applause directly at Boyle. Two women are facing each other: one is the epitome of success, loveliness and grace and the other has been accustomed to taking a backseat to the likes of Holden . . . but not now. The beauty is honoring the wallflower.
As the final notes fade, the entire audience along with Morgan and Holden are on their feet (Cowell remains seated in case you're wondering); Boyle blows a kiss to the crowd and begins to trudge off stage. The judges urge her back and the two hosts in the wings direct her to stay put. She has no idea what she has just accomplished or the effect she's had on this once judgmental audience. The judges assess what they've just heard. "Amazing. I'm reeling," Morgan says.
But there is no greater compliment than that from Holden. "I just want to say that it was a complete privilege listening to that," she says. Boyle wasn't what she appeared to be; she was more.
In Finding Grace (St. Martin's Press) I relate the story of sitting in math class with my friend Peggy. Our seats were located in front of four of the princesses of the school. They were so beautiful, charming and trendy wearing their Izod alligator polo shirts and crisp khaki pants. Peggy and I wore Toughskin corduroys (Their slogan was, "The toughest of Sears tough jeans . . . lab tests prove it!"), sported either a bad perm or an uneven haircut and never made anybody's cool list. Susan Boyle would have been our friend.
Our math teacher was a man with a red face. It wasn't sunburn or even a healthy glow; it was just red . . . all the time. Mr. Teacher Man seemed to be on the backside of his teaching career. Not because he was old but because he seemed to hate the job, or maybe he just disliked Peg and me. I don't know. As Peggy and I went to the chalkboard one day I knocked the eraser to the floor. We both bent for it and clunked our heads together. The class laughed but Mr. Teacher Man did not. We were wasting his time.
In the days following a school assembly was called. A special speaker was coming to entertain the student body. Peg and I threw our books in our lockers and made our way to the gymnasium. There were prime seats down front. We crossed the gym and climbed up two bleachers for our perfect spot when we heard him. "Those aren't available." We turned to see Mr. Teacher Man whose eyes were scanning the gym floor. I didn't think he wasn't talking to us and moved toward the seats again. "Those seats are taken, girls."
By that time every good bleacher was filled and we trekked up to the top row. I sat down and was positioning myself behind Ralphie the teenage giant boy when I noticed the four princesses sit in "our" seats down below. It turns out that Mr. Teacher Man was right. The best seats were unavailable . . . to us. Those seats were special and for special girls. We could make do somewhere else.
Strange how people color the way we feel about ourselves. Somewhere along the way sociologists termed that as the looking glass self: we begin to perceive ourselves as those around us see us. You're a good student but not as good as your sister. You're a great athlete but not nearly as strong as your brother. You're thin but just not thin enough for the job. You're too fat for the job. You're a good mom but have you seen her remarkable home and kids? You're too old and frumpy to sing. Countless books, magazine articles, and television shows are dedicated to helping us be better in every way so we can finally reach those coveted best seats.
But to love and accept someone despite their flaws and failures is a gift of grace in a cynical and hypercritical world where our own panel of judges smirk and snicker and whisper catty comments. Grace says, "Okay, what's the dream?" without passing judgment or rolling the eyes. It sees beyond the frizzy hair and frumpy dress to the heart of the singer, or mother, or twice-divorced waitress. Grace stands up and says, "It is a privilege to know you." Grace realizes there's more than what meets the eye and is the most life-altering gift we can give to one another.
I have a feeling that Susan Boyle knows that.
©2009 Donna VanLiere, author of Finding Grace: A True Story About Losing Your Way in Life . . . And Finding It Again
Author of Finding Grace: A True Story About Losing Your Way in Life...And Finding It Again
I am one of the nearly forty-nine million You Tube viewers who have watched Susan Boyle, the unemployed cat owner from Scotland, blow away the audience of Britain's Got Talent.
Before she takes the stage we learn that Boyle is 47, never married, never kissed, spends her days with Pebbles the cat, and by eye-balling her: frizzy graying hair, eyebrows like caterpillars, ill-fitting dress, gray pantyhose and open-toed cream colored shoes, we assume she's not a beauty pageant winner. The audience and judges size her up too. When she says her age judge Simon Cowell responds with an exaggerated eyeball roll and fellow judge Piers Morgan, a former tabloid newspaper editor, furrows his brow (clearly this ancient dame is wasting his time). Amanda Holden, the third judge, is a beautiful English actress with a body and face that no matter how good your self-image is -- if you stand next to her in line at the coffee shop -- you instantly feel bloated and troll-like. Cutaway shots to the audience show young people snickering and looking at Boyle as if she forgot her mop backstage.
"Okay," Cowell says. "What's the dream?" This is what it all boils to, really. The dream. The hope.
"I'm trying to be a professional singer," Boyle says. (Insert shot of young girl reacting as if saying, "Yeah, right. And I want to be Amanda Holden.")
When she says she'd like to be as successful as English musical theater legend Elaine Page, the cynicism in the room is as thick as Boyle's eyebrows. If Boyle detects any of the sarcasm, unbelief, or disdain she never lets on. She announces her song choice from Les Miserables and Morgan laughs.
Boyle signals for the song to begin and holds onto her mic like a child at her first school program. Then . . . she opens her mouth and when she does the audience erupts in cheers and applause. Simon Cowell's eyes widen, Amanda Holden's mouth drops open and Piers Morgan, who just seconds ago laughed at her, now smiles and applauds. Again, if Boyle is aware of the cheers, ovations and wild applause she doesn't let on. In moments, the lovely Holden is on her feet aiming her applause directly at Boyle. Two women are facing each other: one is the epitome of success, loveliness and grace and the other has been accustomed to taking a backseat to the likes of Holden . . . but not now. The beauty is honoring the wallflower.
As the final notes fade, the entire audience along with Morgan and Holden are on their feet (Cowell remains seated in case you're wondering); Boyle blows a kiss to the crowd and begins to trudge off stage. The judges urge her back and the two hosts in the wings direct her to stay put. She has no idea what she has just accomplished or the effect she's had on this once judgmental audience. The judges assess what they've just heard. "Amazing. I'm reeling," Morgan says.
But there is no greater compliment than that from Holden. "I just want to say that it was a complete privilege listening to that," she says. Boyle wasn't what she appeared to be; she was more.
In Finding Grace (St. Martin's Press) I relate the story of sitting in math class with my friend Peggy. Our seats were located in front of four of the princesses of the school. They were so beautiful, charming and trendy wearing their Izod alligator polo shirts and crisp khaki pants. Peggy and I wore Toughskin corduroys (Their slogan was, "The toughest of Sears tough jeans . . . lab tests prove it!"), sported either a bad perm or an uneven haircut and never made anybody's cool list. Susan Boyle would have been our friend.
Our math teacher was a man with a red face. It wasn't sunburn or even a healthy glow; it was just red . . . all the time. Mr. Teacher Man seemed to be on the backside of his teaching career. Not because he was old but because he seemed to hate the job, or maybe he just disliked Peg and me. I don't know. As Peggy and I went to the chalkboard one day I knocked the eraser to the floor. We both bent for it and clunked our heads together. The class laughed but Mr. Teacher Man did not. We were wasting his time.
In the days following a school assembly was called. A special speaker was coming to entertain the student body. Peg and I threw our books in our lockers and made our way to the gymnasium. There were prime seats down front. We crossed the gym and climbed up two bleachers for our perfect spot when we heard him. "Those aren't available." We turned to see Mr. Teacher Man whose eyes were scanning the gym floor. I didn't think he wasn't talking to us and moved toward the seats again. "Those seats are taken, girls."
By that time every good bleacher was filled and we trekked up to the top row. I sat down and was positioning myself behind Ralphie the teenage giant boy when I noticed the four princesses sit in "our" seats down below. It turns out that Mr. Teacher Man was right. The best seats were unavailable . . . to us. Those seats were special and for special girls. We could make do somewhere else.
Strange how people color the way we feel about ourselves. Somewhere along the way sociologists termed that as the looking glass self: we begin to perceive ourselves as those around us see us. You're a good student but not as good as your sister. You're a great athlete but not nearly as strong as your brother. You're thin but just not thin enough for the job. You're too fat for the job. You're a good mom but have you seen her remarkable home and kids? You're too old and frumpy to sing. Countless books, magazine articles, and television shows are dedicated to helping us be better in every way so we can finally reach those coveted best seats.
But to love and accept someone despite their flaws and failures is a gift of grace in a cynical and hypercritical world where our own panel of judges smirk and snicker and whisper catty comments. Grace says, "Okay, what's the dream?" without passing judgment or rolling the eyes. It sees beyond the frizzy hair and frumpy dress to the heart of the singer, or mother, or twice-divorced waitress. Grace stands up and says, "It is a privilege to know you." Grace realizes there's more than what meets the eye and is the most life-altering gift we can give to one another.
I have a feeling that Susan Boyle knows that.
©2009 Donna VanLiere, author of Finding Grace: A True Story About Losing Your Way in Life . . . And Finding It Again
Author Bio
Donna Vanliere, author of Finding Grace: A
True Story About Losing Your Way in Life . . . And Finding It Again, is
the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of The
Christmas Hope series and Angels of Morgan Hill. She lives in Franklin,
Tennessee with her husband and three children. For more information please visit http://www.donnavanliere.com
Math Makes Me Look Like an Idiot!
Complicated concepts sometimes make me look like a real idiot. I’m pretty good at hiding my ignorance in most instances. When my kids ask me hard questions I try to at least look intelligent until I have the chance to look up the real answer.
The other day I was blown out of the water and my lack of brain cells was prominently displayed before every family member to witness.
My twelve year old son asked me to help him with a math question. Here’s the question he was working:
I hope you can see why I told him to move on to the next question so I could give him my full attention (and call the 1-800 number in the book or call my husband to do a little substitute teaching) after I’d made lunch.
He moved on and encountered this question:
He asked me if anything to the power of zero is one. I couldn’t understand the question because it’s been a while since I talked ‘algebraic’. Thinking that learning Greek in a week would be easier I walked over to take a look at the actual question. This looked so much easier than the first one I decided to try my hand at it. Surely more than two decades away from taking math classes hadn’t wiped everything out of my mind, right?
So I leaned over the table, pencil in hand. Smart me says, “So, like with these two x’s here at the beginning… that’s kind of like two times x.”
“Yeah, mom. I kind of figured that out a long time ago. All I really want to know is anything to the power of zero one?”
Because I was now trapped I started talking. I said all kinds of very philosophical things and threw in a few math words here and there and finally came to a conclusion. “No,” I said emphatically. "That can’t possibly be true, because if you multiply something zero times it must be zero not one.”
“Moooommm,” he groaned. “I’m pretty sure it’s one.”
In a few minutes I had convinced myself that I had figured out the theory, facts and operations behind all of math-dom. So when my husband waltzed in totally unaware of the density of the air in the room I fluffed my peacock feathers and said, “Well, let’s ask the expert, shall we?”
Trent casually walked over to the sink, still not cognizant of the fact that he was about to make history in our home. As he leaned over to rinse the milk out of his glass I hit him with both barrels.
“Okay, Trent. Our son seems to think he knows better than me. Here’s the question… if I have a number… say 136 and I add an exponent of zero to it, what does that equal?” (If you read that and heard a sneer in my voice you’d have the tone down perfectly!)
Calm as a cucumber my husband replied (still unaware of the tension in the room), “Anything to the power of zero is always one.”
My son’s hand hit the table in a prize-winning slap! He hadn’t ever grinned so big… ever! “Told you, Mom! I told you so! Man, I can’t believe I’m actually smarter than Mom!”
Thus has ended the beautiful innocence of my son’s blissful ignorance of what his mom is truly capable of - or not capable of as the case may be. It was a sad, sad day.
A lot like the day the kids figured out that there really were no eyes in the back of my head. It had taken them over an hour of an intense head massage (four little sets of hands running through my hair was the closest I’d get to a spa in those days) to finally guess that the only reason I wouldn’t tell them where I kept my extra set of eyes is because I liked the head rub!
So the bottom line is the truth is finally out. I’m not a math whiz. I have to use a calculator to figure out how to double a recipe… just don’t tell anyone!
I don’t have eyes in the back of my head. I don’t have supersonic ears that can hear what the kids told their friends at their house last night for dinner. (Although it’s great to have friends who are willing to call and tell you what was said at their supper table while you weren’t there!) And neither do I have a lie detector built in my body somewhere… unless the Holy Spirit counts… He sure does a better job!
We’ve laughed a lot about my math blunders. The thing is that my kids know that when I really don’t know the answer I know where to find it. I can call the 1-800 number and talk directly with the man who wrote the math book. He’ll tell me everything I need to know, not only how to figure it out myself but to teach my kids. (It is kind of handy, though, to have married a walking calculator, I must say.)
I’m so glad it works like that in life.
There are situations that come up in my life that make math problem number one look like 1+1. It’s crazy how complicated things can get once you are my age. I keep hoping things will get easier once I grow up, but apparently I’m either not growing up or that was a very foolish thought.
But I know who I can call on. He created the Plan. He created me. He knows the beginning from the end and He’s promised to share His wisdom with me. What a relief!
I try not to act like I have it all together in life. Because I don’t. I’ve learned that the sooner I admit that I really know very little, and that I need to call toll-free to Jesus… heart to heart… I can save myself heartache, embarrassment and painful consequences.
If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. James 1:5, NLT
On Family and Laxatives
I love my family! I enjoy spending time with them talking, playing games, praying together, singing and playing musical instruments, as well as cleaning, and even doing nothing together-the doing nothing together can be challenging. I am of the belief that there is always something you can be doing. My boys don’t agree…
Because I know the time God’s given me with my two boys is precious, I try to get the most out of every event we plan or attend as a family. When we are together, I make sure we are creating memorable stories for our mental albums. We have been able to add page after page in our mind archives of memories that will be cherished by our children’s children in the future. There are sad stories, encouraging stories, happy stories and inspiring stories to last us a lifetime.
I often find myself wondering what the future looks like for each of my family members…We are a unique bunch with different goals and ideas on how our lives will unfold and where God will take us. I’m not naïve to think my children and those who are dear to me, will be with me for ever. Everyone moves on. My job is to make sure I provide my family with experiences and memories that will carry them through life’s most uncomfortable and difficult times. I want to provide them with stories of encouragement and affirm their faith in God, so that when I am no longer around, they will be able to pull back the pages and remember.
Just the other day, I added a new page to our mental family album. According to my family this was a funny page, but to me, let’s just say, not so funny...
It was Sunday, May 10 and my family had planned to take grandmother and I out on the lake to celebrate mother’s day. We rented a boat and off we went to L
An hour later my stomach began to hurt. I knew I was in for a whole world of hurt if I didn’t get to a bathroom quick. I made the announcement; “we need to go back…NOW!” My husband reminded me that we were 30 minutes away from civilization and there were no bathrooms in sight. At this point I was desperate!
“You don’t understand. I have to go now!” My face was flushed and tears were beginning to build up in my eyes from the embarrassment I felt. Again he reminded me there was no way we’d make it back in time, so I would either have to go in the woods or hold it till we got back.
Everyone laughed…I didn’t.
I gathered my resolve and my pride and climbed out of the boat to a small island, and against everything I’ve ever known to be right and decent, I took care of business. I was mortified, embarrassed, and obviously relieved. My pride was bruised!
Back on the boat now, and half a bottle of hand sanitizer later, I could hear my children scheming how they would leak (no pun intended) the story out to their friends and I knew then, I was doomed. This would get out no matter how much threatening I did.
Everyone laughed…again…I didn’t.
I decided then, I’d go ahead and share it with the world since there are already emails floating around with my name on them. Check this out; it appears that the cookies I was given had Sorbitol and Maltitol aka laxatives (if consumed in excess). I only had two cookies...just two…come ‘on people, does anybody else see the unfairness in this?
I would like to take this opportunity to thank my family for making mother’s day a memorable one indeed…Everyone had a good laugh at my expense but we did have a good time and we spent the day together –that was meaningful to me. I thought it was interesting that when it came time to say goodbye, we struggled, wishing we had more time together.
Sometimes we think special holidays are to be celebrated by doing outlandish things and spending loads of cash, but the truth is, for most people, and I can only speak for myself and those I know, time well spent together means so much more than money or material things and the memories will last long after the money runs out.
Paul Pearlshall once said; our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family. Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member, yet we lead our daily life too often as if we take our family for granted.
In a perfect world, we would stand by our family through scandal, marriages would fight to stay together, children would honor their parents and strangers would be trusted. In a perfect world we’d call each other daily and visit frequently…In a perfect world. But we don’t live in a perfect world. At least not the kind God intended for us.
If you spend any time flipping through TV channels you’ll see a real representation of how we’ve messed with God’s intended plan for the family. Have you noticed how sad reality TV really is? I say sad because it gives a real depiction of where we are as a people. For those who do not know the savior, this can be disheartening and depressing. But all is not gloom and doom. We have a hope in Christ Jesus!
So, you ask, what are we to do? The apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 4:8 (New International Version) Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
If we follow that example, we’d have healthier marriages and more stable homes held together by strong bonds of love and respect. If we follow that example, we’d have more funny stories than sad ones, we’d have more laughter and less tears to shed. If we follow that example, we’d leave a legacy worth dying for and one our children would be proud of.
